Do you ever get that gut feeling that something’s off with someone, but you can’t quite put your finger on it?
Like they’re charming, fun to be around at first, but the longer you stick around, the more you start feeling like you’re being drained, manipulated, or straight-up played?
If you have felt like this, then chances are high you’re with narcissist. The worst part is that they don’t come with a flashing light on their heads to warn us.
Once you figure them out and how they operate and recognize their red flags, they’re hard to unsee.
In my opinion the following 5 things are the warning signs being around a narcissist.
1. They Always Make It About Them. ALWAYS.
You could be talking about your sick grandmother, a promotion you just got, or even something completely random like the weather, and somehoW they’ll find a way to turn the spotlight back onto themselves and play down whatever it is you have to share.
- “Oh, your grandma’s in the hospital? That reminds me of the time I almost died, it was so much worse.”
- “Congrats on the promotion! I was actually offered a way better job once, but I turned it down because I have I felt I was worth more.”
They cannot stand it when the attention isn’t on them, and if they can’t hijack the conversation, they’ll sulk, roll their eyes, or start subtly putting you down or start an argument.
2. They Gaslight You Into Questioning Yourself.
Ever had someone do something shitty, then act like it never happened? Or worse, try and convince you that you’re the problem for even bringing something up? That’s gaslighting, and narcissists are the masters at it.
- “I never said that. You must be imagining things.”
- “Wow, you’re so sensitive. I was just joking.”
- “You always overreact. No one else has a problem with me—just you.”
It’s a slow, insidious mindfck designed to make you doubt your own sanity. And the moment you start questioning yourself instead of them? That’s when they know they’ve got you and you start believing that something is wrong with you.
3. They Have a Victim Complex the Size of a Small Country.
A narcissist could cheat on you, steal from you, burn your house down, and somehow, by the end of the conversation, you’ll be apologizing to them.
They’re never wrong. NEVER. NEVER EVER. EVER EVER EVER.
- Got called out? “People are just jealous of me.”
- Got fired? “My boss was out to get me.”
- Got dumped? “My ex was toxic and didn’t appreciate me.”
Nothing is ever their fault. If they get caught, they’ll twist the story so hard that you’ll start wondering if you imagined the whole thing.
4. They Lovebomb You… Then Rip It Away. Repeat.
At first, they’re perfect. Amazing compliments, constant attention, gifts, grand gestures, whatever they can do to make you feel like the most special person on earth. But…. once they know you’re hooked? The switch flips. Suddenly, they’re distant. Cold. Unpredictable. They keep you on edge, always chasing that original version of them that doesn’t exist anymore.
And if you call them out?
- “Wow, you’re so needy.”
- “I can’t give you constant attention, I have a life.”
- “You used to be cool, what happened to you?”
What happened? They’ve just stopped pretending.
5. They Can’t Handle Even the Slightest Criticism.
Point out a flaw, a mistake, or anything less than flattering, and watch the beast show itself.
They’ll either fly into a rage, play the victim, or start attacking you personally. Narcissists live for validation, and the second they don’t get it, they implode then explode to those around them.
- You correct them? You’re disrespectful.
- You set a boundary? You’re selfish.
- You call them out? You’re crazy and obsessed with them.
Meanwhile, they’ll tear you down constantly. The moment you react… you’re the problem.
Narcissists don’t change. They don’t wake up one day and magically decide to be self-aware. You will never win with them because the game is rigged and has been from the beginning.
The best thing you can do? Cut your losses, get the fck out, and never look back.